Anyway, like I mentioned, the radio was on and just as we were approaching the tollbooth the radio announcer started talking again. It was pretty interesting I guess but I can't for the life of me remember what they were going on about. My mum paused in her "story". I'm thinking that she's is finished with her story. I am listening to the radio.
We go through the tollbooth.
I notice that there's a voice that sounds familiar in the car. It's not the radio. My mum is still talking.
That's the first creepy thing - although I shouldn't be surprised.
A second later I'm sitting stock still in shock. I realise that I completely zoned out my own mother.
Not like I know what's she's saying and just am not listening. That's normal. Usually if I'm in the car and she's talking I'll try and listen to the radio but because it's your mother you kind of are programmed to hear her voice above everything else. But this time it was different. I did not hear her at all, like she wasn't even there. And the weird thing was that I wasn't trying to zone her out but I was doing the normal thing and going "uh huh" and "yeh" at intervals. I completely fazed out and her voice wasn't even registering in my head. There wasn't anything interesting on the radio or anything going on around the car. Just me and mum and something just switched off.
Pretty scary.
I do tell my mum when she gets all talkative and stuff that it's not interesting to me but I guess she just wants someone to tell. I don't mind because I can pretend to listen and just hear the music instead. This time wasn't like that. Usually I hear both and my mum's voice cuts into the music and I just end up falling asleep (I wear sunglasses cos it's bright so she doesn't know).I hope that doesn't happen during University class cos I can't control the zoning out thing. I might actually miss a whole lecture even tho I'm in attendance. And that would suck. A new meaning for there for nothing.
Most people want a shoulder to lean / cry on or a soundboard to talk to. I've learned that the best way to be sensitive and caring is just to shut up and listen. Most people are content to talk about themselves all day and night if need be. Even if you don't say anything substantial or clever, just listening is good enough to cement your status as a caring compassionate person. I'm not saying fake it to seem like a nicer person. You really have to try and listen and understand.
And don't interrupt. Interrupting is not only rude but it disrupts the other person's flow and that usually is quite irritating. Do onto others remember.
Unless the person wants your opinion then only should you give it to them. Your opinion, that is. And generally if they want your opinion, they'll ask you.Examples:
"What's your opinion?"
"What do you think?"
So there really isn't any excuse to butt in uninvited. It's pretty clear cut when they want your help and when they want you to shut up.
I've figured that if people talk enough, they'll probably be able to sort themselves out. The only problem is finding someone to talk to and finding someone who'll listen for hours on end. Not to mention the ludicrously outrageous phone bill.
The last few paragraphs only apply to those serious conversations that you have with gal pals and stuff. Don't do this when you're all having fun down at the pub. They'll think you've got a stick shoved up your butt.
I don't mind listening to people. I'm used to it. I live with two very noisy, talkative people. I'm chatty by nature but sometimes too much for my own good. It's easy to talk all the time. More quantity than quality and hardly anyone hears you. It's much more a challenge to be a good listener. That's why women loves guys who listen. They are a dying breed. The gentlemen of old are no more.
Sigh.
If you are one, you know where to find me!
No comments:
Post a Comment