I know I don't know

I have no freakin idea what I'm doing anymore.

I'm not even writing this post properly like I should (MS Word, then notepad then Blogger Compose!).

I don't know whether to say something or not bring it up, or just ignore it or see what's going on.

Normally I can rationalise and say "You know what. I'm going to do this, this and this. And this and this will happen." But you all know how it is when emotions get in the way. There's the scared bit and the anxious bit and the I-Don't-Know-What-I'm-Doing-So-I'm-Just-Winging-It Bit.

Its kinda like my head's exploded and I don't know how to put all the wires back in the right place. There is a manual (logic) but it's like there's a monkey stealing my tools (emotions). And you can go and enjoy that little piece of imagery right there.

Like I said. I just want this week to be over with. And to be honest it's not because of the timesheet or anything like that.

And the problem I have isn't going to be over once this week is over either. It'll only be done with once I get the balls to face it. And I'm slowly wimping out here.

* * *

I've got this thing, right? And it's been stomped. Shit. Flat as a pancake. Metaphorically speaking. EUGH. This should not be happening. I'm so piss furious at myself.

This! Again! Should know better, girl. Should know better.