Manchester Trip

Yeah, went to Manc last-last Thursday to catch the Jason Mraz concert in Manchester Academy. Here are the pics because I'm too lazy to write a proper post.

The Ticket!

One of the dishes for Thursday dinner. Yes, those are CHILLI SEEDS.


Egg tarts and juice for Friday Breakfast! So yum. Seriously.


Friday - A Visit to Old Trafford!


The Concert. Short but SUPERB.
The only downside of the concert was that we were stuck behind three really tall Chinese blokes, a couple of them with their girlfriends. I was so annoyed. My camera got better views than I did. Fortunately, sound has no height limit so it was alright in the end.

* * *

I really want to go to Athens this Summer! I told myself that if I got into the Cardiff BVC, I would take a holiday to Greece. If I didn't get in I would work for a year. But according to parents, I have to wait cos money is tight right now, pending some big things in the works. Sigh. I suppose they are right, but that's not stopping me from planning! Once I get the A-OK, I'm off!

See updated wishlist on the right! --->

Who needs twitter?

• I got into Cardiff BVC. Score!
• I think I had food poisoning yesterday.
• I forgot to eat dinner today.Totally unintentional. Will eat properly tomorrow. Promise.
• Amal still has my camera. Is she back from Egypt yet?
• Med Eths Assignment to do and Juris to start. Dammit.
• Must call Keylet. Did I mention I'm going to rent a house next year?
• Must also go to Lidl and buy food to cook.

Oh yes,

HAPPY EASTER!

Good Friday. Sit. Stay. Play Dead

I think the post title is a little blasphemous but I'm ok with it. If Jesus can't laugh at himself, then he's no fun.

I haven't scrolled thru or re-read my blog in a while but I can't help but remember what I wrote last Good Friday and what was planned for that day. It was a day in March and further research leads me to declare that it indeed was March 21 2008.

I can still remember how I felt and what I wanted to say that day. The Boy and I weren't getting along and frankly he was avoiding me altogether. Fair enough, I had ticked him off and we were actually supposed to have dinner that night. I felt one of us had to reach out to the other one, even if it was just in the form of a friendly handshake to say "that's it I guess". And to all intents and purposes it was just a last-gasp, sombre shot at at least mending the friendship. I was rather bummed out thinking about what we could have been doing at the dinner and the fish fingers I had cooked up for myself weren't helping any.

To be perfectly honest, I can't really remember what I had for dinner that night but as my staple food for the last months of Year 2 consisted mainly of fish fingers and potato waffles, it's a safe bet that was probably it.

Back to the story behind the post...

I remember feeling mildly defeated. Mainly because I didn't expect The Boy to cancel. Or rather, to agree to cancel. But fair play to him, he was really upset. I remember from the time he had asked me to dinner a good two weeks before the date, I was getting all giddy and excited about it. And for it to just vanish in a few words really took the wind out of my sails. It did make me think back and wonder what I said wrong and try to figure out what exactly happened from his point of view.

Yeah, we didn't have the smoothest of starts...

What did I do? I couldn't think of anything. If it's something I can't think of, but he thinks it's so important, should I even give it a try? Maybe this was fate or destiny saying something. I really questioned myself and my actions and at the end of it, I was tired of analysing my every move. I was tired of being so cautious around him.

At this point, rookie readers may think: "Ah, you got rid of him! Good for you! You go girl!" *ZZZTZT* WRONG. Thank you for playing.

I was in the process of flushing him out of my system and the same was with him. Blog dialogue is so ghey but ultimately effective. He blogged about meeting me and getting to know me and finished with

but i suppose, after reading the signs, i cant see where this is going. perhaps if there was no exams going on in a month plus time, things couldve been different. alas, my parents deserve to see some returns for their little outlay; so this time round, its my turn to apologize.

So basically nothing was going to happen. And frankly I was relieved. I was tired of playing little cat and mouse games and I think he was too. I know he's not a fan of the little mind games that I used to do and maybe I went too far in playing with him. That said we ended up having a chat during the Cardiff Games at which I was determined to make peace with The Boy.

I don't know whether it was because I still liked him or because I still wanted him to like me, even as a friend but any discussion to hash things out would be a win-win for me. Clear the air. Sort things out. Clean up the mess. Nothing to lose. I had already lost a friend. What else was there?

If you're still reading till now you could consider this a behind the scenes look into my brain. But I can't help but feel it's like a story that you already know the ending to - kinda like Star Wars Episode 3. Without the screaming.

So with things said and sorted on that Saturday, I was energised and determined to put it to bed once and for all. I needed a plan. I needed to be sure of what I was going to do and stick to it. I actually figured it out in the shower...

It resulted in this post. A full on confession, albeit, a summary of what I felt and what I thought had happened and what I was going to do about it. I was angry. I was determined. I was fed up.

And what did he do? He messaged me and invited himself over to my place to talk. About the post. And he was going to walk over. At 10 o'clock at night. I thought "Blimey. It must be something serious." I agreed.

We talked. I sat on my wooden chair. He sat in the cushioned seat. He said he still liked me. I told him I thought you were done with all that. He said he reconsidered, in the light of what my blog had said. I guess it struck a nerve somewhere.

I was a little confused but that was squashed with the glee and giddiness that 1) he still liked me, 2) he walked all the way over to tell me that, and 3) um, i guess i still liked him. But I already said that in the post.

Back to the present.

Since then, I can't help but look back and think that if we could get thru that, we could pretty much get thru anything if we wanted to. It wasn't the prettiest of starts but we're on more or less the same wavelength now tho the zodiac/horoscopes aren't working in our favour.

Is it foolish to be optimistic about the future? Is there a future that I should be optimistic about? I dare say I'd rather not get my hopes up. I can daydream and fantasize as well as the next person - dare i say, better. One day, one week, one month at a time.

Cardiff European Games 2009 (28th March)

We got GOLD for netball! We are the Champions!

And gold for other things too.

And I bought a really nice netball for 7 pounds. Score!

A year on...

I suppose being stuck in couple status for a full 4 seasons warrants some sort of acknowledgement, as much as I don't like publicising my private life.

So what has made this year so different? What are the special things that I should take away from this extraordinary 365 days?

We started out normal but it wouldn't be interesting without a twist somewhere and our twist came right at the beginning. And heck, if we can get over that, we can get over almost anything.

We progressed pretty fast, but that's what happens when you live 15 minutes apart.

We had the added benefit of living 30 minutes drive away as well. Hooray for highways.

Now the gap has grown to an hour's train ride away but if anything it's pulled us closer.

It's no longer the romantic dinners or the way you tried so hard to impress me that I value the most (although they make excellent stories). It's the way you listen to me even though I go on and on about people and things that have annoyed me throughout the day. It's how you put up with me and my moods and still don't get angry. And as selfish as it sounds, it's also the way you do the silly quasi-romantic things that I ask that keep me going.

To be honest, I don't know how you put up with me. But then again, you ask the same question of yourself. Same answer I guess.

I'm not at my most eloquent at 4am in the morning but it takes a bit of building up to say out loud in cyberspace that its been a year of beautiful memories and I wouldn't share them with anyone else but you.

And as I said, we communicate in the same way.

*pucker face**buck tooth**frowny face**smiley face**kiss**HUG*

Shopping BINGE

I just bought:

Raspberry express cabin suitcase from Tripp.co.uk


Pilot BLSG15 Gel Ink Refill Pack of 12

And now I want:

A Lamy Safari Fountain Pen

Just one...

Warwick Games 2009

No Warwick Netball for us this year either. Bus too expensive - 600 pounds. Not enough girls - 7 at the max.

Cardiff and Warwick just don't seem to gel right do they?

Once a year...

Dear,

I love
my wonderful, caring, kind, generous parents.
my wise, funny, sprightly grandparents.
my concerned, nosy, connected, noisy aunts.
my quiet, doting, compassionate, economical uncles.
my loud, rambunctious, silly, playful cousins.
my whole, crazy, multi-faceted family.
my loyal, hilarious, understanding, patient friends.
my adoring, cute, tolerant, hard-working Boy.
the hot, humid, lively city I am from.
the cool, cosmopolitan, bustling city I grew up in.
the peaceful, friendly, compact city I am studying in.
the tough, brain-busting, mental, worthwhile course I'm doing.
who I am, who I was and who I will be.

I love my life. And everything that makes it up.

A day for love. For loving. And for being loved.
There is no greater force on this earth.

Love thine self. Love your neighbor. Love a stranger.

One day a year we allow ourselves to soak up the entirety of the limitless capabilities of love from all directions.

It sounds an awful lot like Christmas but i think it's rather selfish to focus on one person only when you receive love from so many people, whether its a friendly hello on the bus or a kiss from a long-lost friend.

Remember to keep in mind that we have to be taught how to love. We can't love without people to love us.

Love, Sara.

Damn browsing

While wasting time on the notorious social network site of my choice, I've been browsing thru a few of my 2nd and 3rd degree friend pages. Out of sheer boredom, I guess I end up wondering what my long lost comrades are getting up to.

I don't know about you but there hasn't been the influx of love-ness that there was last spring - maybe because spring hasn't hit yet. Regardless, I've got to admit that quite a few people who I have as friends are practically married to their other half. And I don't mean that in a "I shall get engaged to my sister so that creepy people won't add me" kind of thing - I mean real couples in (freakishly) long relationships.

I've got nothing against that. It just got me thinking.

I can list a few couples that I know of personally that have been going on for at least 3-4 years now. Not to mention the couples of which I only know one of them. Are all my buddies growing up and growing old together? It's hard to believe that only a few years ago, people were breaking up and making up like it didn't matter. But back then, it didn't really.

I can't help but compare them to my parents generation. And by that I mean who they're with. Practically 80% of the couples I know met in school. I don't know about you but my parents didn't meet in school. One of my friend's parents met in Uni but I only know 1, out of possibly 20 sets of parents that I know, that met in school - and I don't even know the parents, just their story.

So is true love the new love? Are the days of office romances a thing of the past? Will our generation be the high school sweetheart generation - living out the fantasy that our parents, grandparents and teenage chic lit tell us about?

Or is it (pessimistically) too early to say? None of my batch have gotten hitched - yet. Coming into our twenties, it makes you consider your future together. Do you grow up and change together? Or do priorities change and diverge?

I'll get back to you on that in about 5 years or so.

What's really quite niggling me: why am I am late starter, so to speak.
Credit that I never fit in (or wanted to fit in) with the cool crowd in school - I did my own thing and I don't regret it. High school romances are notorious for being short-lived and just a phase. Not that I didn't have my share of crushes, but who wants to be remembered as a blip in a guy's "love life". The one romantic thing that happened to me in school doesn't even register on my numerical count any more. Tragic.

For some reason I tend to make relationships hard for myself. Well, not intentionally, but I get drawn into all the difficult to manage situations - long distance, cheats, apathy. Not such a good track record I must say.

However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. What light, I hear you ask? I suppose, learn from the mistakes, spot the signs early and never stop hoping. I don't mean be naive, but it's very easy to become jaded. And when you don't try, things just happen naturally. It's like falling into your stride - walk, skip, run. You have to be comfortable with yourself and what you want and only then you know if you are comfortable with whoever comes along.

And plus, guys hate desperate.

Repercussions

I went out clubbing at Oceana yesterday night.

Every time I chew something I can hear bells ringing in my ears.

Oh and I lost my camera. case.

Mad, Madder, Mental

Things that are making me mad:

• Tash and I found the PERFECT house. Chern doesn't want to put down the non-refundable agency fee. I will be furious if we lose this house.
• I've spent the last 10 days negotiating with Phoenix Garden about Chinese New Year and sending out email after email asking the committee about what they want and now it's all shot down the drain. What is the point in doing all this work if it doesn't matter anyway?
• The Cardiff European Games are coming up and nothing is settled yet. Certain persons are implying that their life is so busy that they couldn't bother replying emails with a simple yes or no. I'm sorry, where was it stated that I have to give up my life so that you can deal with yours?
  

I swear, if I die of anything it will be DEATH BY BUREAUCRACY.

Thank God

The water's back on.

My kidneys are saved!

Picture courtesy of lunalil :)
Not the Aberdare Hall toilet but close enough

* * *

On another note, I'm in the midst of doing a lot of things:

1. Meeting up with Annie, the Phoenix Garden manager, to sort out things for CNY 2009
2. Going to letting agencies and looking at houses with Tasha
3. Working on my Jurisprudence assignment
4. Getting my hair cut, which means 2 appointments with Vidal Sassoon

Number 3 is VERY IMPORTANT. Have to really get stuck in soon. Yipes.

* * *

Easter hols will be FANTASTIC. I know this.

Because I'm going to see JASON MRAZ.
In Manchester.
In April.
With Yi Lynn.
With accommodation sorted.

I love my life.
Too bad The Boy isn't coming along but I don't think he'd enjoy me swooning all over the place anyway.

Ah, Monsieur Mraz. How I adore thee.

Yeah, yeah. I adore The Boy better, but everyone's allowed a celebrity crush.

* * *

And I've discovered that I actually have a regular period notwithstanding stress [which makes it longer]. Good to know. At least something about me is regular.
Haha.

Water

Since the water pipe near Park Place burst, there's been no more water. Oh shit.

I need to pee.

Happy New Year!

Long time no text and I apologise. I shall begin to make it up to you with LISTS.

Things I can do:

• I can French plait.
• I can I can prolong a conversation longer than necessary.
• I can pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time.
• I can put my legs behind my head.
• I can do a back flip.
• I can think of useless lists to write.

Things I want to do:

• I want to own a dog.
• I want to be able to water ski.
• I want to sky dive.
• I want to bungee jump.
• I want to scuba dive.
• I want to look slim in a bikini.
• I want to be able to do the splits again.

Things I won’t do:

• I won’t smoke cigarettes.
• I won’t starve myself for beauty (for laziness maybe but not for beauty).
• I won’t drink bird’s nest soup.
• I won’t eat shark fins.

Lists done, on with the update.

First week of winter hols was spent in Swansea catching up with The Boy. Swansea’s a swell place. It would be the best if not for the wind. Didn’t do much but the week was highlighted, or should I say marred by the fire alarms going off. TWICE. wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the fact it was 11pm at night.

Christmas was fun. Went to DW’s Christmas party which was entertaining if not funny to watch people collapse in pain after eating sambal cooked with chilli padi SEEDS. Stayed in and cooked for the rest of the time. Am quite proud of culinary achievements – the fact that I know how to cook them, notwithstanding the taste. Char Siew, Roast Chicken Rice, ABC Soup.

New Years was back in Swansea. Good thing too – fireworks abound! Stayed a day over what I was supposed to but no problem cept the massive amount of laundry I had to do when I got back.

Assignment due! Time to get cracking.

Nottingham Malaysian Games 2008

I’m sore and fking moody as hell. I swing from being soft n squishy to being pissed as hell. If I didn’t know better, I swear I was going thru PMS. And since I’m not, I’m just fking moody.

SORE
Cos I went to Notts on Saturday and played 6 games of netball. Got 3rd place but no medal. Yeah, what the fk, right? Which in short, is why I am

FKING MOODY

1. Cos the head official, when asked, said “yes, there will be a third place medal” which therefore implies that once you are confirmed to have secured third place, the aforementioned medal would be yours. But nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Apparently, Nottingham Malaysian Society does not feel that third place warrants a medal. Which leads me to
2. When I approached the NMS Sports Sec with MSSCF’s Sports Sec, he rather smirkingly said:
   “Sorry, we don’t have a third place medal for netball.”
   “Do you have third place medals for the other sports?” I politely asked back.
   “Only for individual games we give third place medals. Do you want us to make you a medal?” He replied, his words dripping in sarcasm.
   “Yes!” I said.
   “No, it’s not necessary” interrupted our sports secretary. “It’s ok, don’t trouble yourself.”
   

And this is where we are today.

I received a message from one of the netball girls: “How come we didn’t get a bronze medal? One of my friends said football and basketball got a bronze medal.” I didn’t know what to say. “I’ll get you an answer, I promise.” I replied.

And Damn Straight I’m going to get an answer. Even if I have to wring that pathetic NMS Sports Secretary’s neck to get it.

Needless to say, I’m still infuriated at the way I was brushed off by Nottingham AND Cardiff’s own Sports Sec. I figured on Friday, it’s probably just the heat of the moment that’s making me see red. I’ll go to sleep, wake up fresh on Sunday and see how I feel. I was still pissed.

Now far be it for me to question the NMS committee for their decisions but as a participant and an athlete AND a Committee Member myself, I find it hard to justify why there ISN’T a bronze medal.

To be fair: Possible reasons why there aren’t bronze medals

• Not enough money – I seriously find that hard to believe. Over 80 universities attend Notts, each paying registration fees. Plus, if they can cough up enough money to get bronzes for football and basketball, what is so different with netball? And if they say, because they have more teams – what the heck does that have to do with anything? Take the bronzes away from chess and scrabble and give it to us! A game is a game, regardless of how popular.
• We never have bronzes for Netball. It’s tradition. – A pretty crap tradition. Do you still demand that men and women should have separate class rooms and eat at separate tables too? You are autonomous University students. Regardless of tradition, however longstanding, you don’t just follow something because it says you should, there should be a logical defendable basis for any decision. Pardon the lawyer coming out in me but being so limp-wristed and spineless in the face of such a stupid tradition follows that you aren’t fit to be in the committee and kicked out immediately.

Whatever the reason, they are making me harbour an enormous amount of ill-will towards them. And I never give up without a fight.

Solely in my capacity as Netball Captain and Manager, this complete and utter disregard and disrespect towards me, my team, and my University will not be tolerated. I am so disappointed in how Nottingham has handled this event. There will be questions, and there WILL be answers.

End of the Rope

I swear to God, I'm at the end of my rope. There are so many things I have to do. List!

• Take a shower
• Dry my hair
• Sleep
• Pack party things
• Do some work for today

Tomorrow:

• Remember about party things tomorrow
• Go to 3 hours of lectures tomorrow
• Go to the SU and check the room booking
• Buy masking tape
• Buy a pumpkin
• Buy Sweets
  
• Take a shower
• Get Dressed
• Put on Make up
• Eat Lunch
• Decorate Party Room
• Make sure people have a good time
• Clean Up room
• Enjoy Halloween

And I have to hold all this in my HEAD.

I'm more stressed out than tired - don't be fooled by the tag. I'm sleepy, stinky, and uh. I dunno.

Few things I know for sure. I could really use a pick-me-up right now, and I can't wait till tomorrow ends. I really can't. Stress-free heaven lies on the dark side of 10pm tomorrow.

Till then - I shall tie a knot at the end and hang on.

Murphy’s law

“When anything can go wrong, it will.”

So far this week has felt like that.

Wanted to go out; it was raining.
Wanted to sell books; bookshop only takes them in on weekends.
Wanted to go to the gym; was carrying a bag of books.
Went to collect something; it wasn’t there.
Went to see someone; they weren’t in.

A summarily short list but it has roll-over consequences. It builds up one after the other. Especially if you haven’t caught a break in between them it feels as if things are ganging up on you.

* * *
On a slightly different tone, I was listening to Liz Phair’s Favourite and while grooving to the rock riff and the lyrical lyrics I realised what kind of songs I like – I like those that make analogies. Similes, metaphors, and all those words you learn in English lit. Lyrics are important of course and everyone is attracted to music that you can relate to. And if you know me (or read my posts) you will know that the weird way I express myself usually involves a lot of analogies like “chocolate covered train with a gooey marshmallow centre” or some nonsense like that. It works for me. I don’t know why.

I suppose I like to imagine things and when it comes to describing something I can’t describe, associating it to something I can visualise helps.

* * *
I only blog when I’m feeling- well, basically when I’m feeling down, or angry, or sad. Usually not when I’m happy. So those massive gaps in time between posts don’t mean that the previous post represents my feelings/thought/emotions until the next post; it means that nothing really twisted my gut till then.

So by the process of analysis, my gut is twisted as we speak.

I feel so F-ed up right now. There is one thing that’s niggling in the back of my mind which although is a small niggle, is a niggle nonetheless. Then there are the other things. The oppressive cloud of gloom and depressiveness that is looming over me. The things mention in the first bit of this post. The fact that I feel lonely – and that’s noone’s fault.

I feel I aught to qualify that last sentence. It’s nothing that anyone else can do about it. There are certain responsibilities and decisions that I have to take on my own shoulders. There are things that only I can do for whatever purpose. Its not that I don’t have friends or rather, that there aren’t friends around, but it’s more like being stuck on a branch that’s so high up that no one can get you down till the fire truck gets there. It’s rather a helpless situation.

There are so many things that I have to do – tomorrow, this week, this year. Its pretty much weighing down on my shoulders (no wonder my scapula have been stiff and sore since Sunday).

It’s only something time will heal. But until then, I feel like crap. I want to punch something.

What is Love?

Quite a subjective question? A question where personal experiences can’t truly be separated from the subject matter at hand. It was on of those lonely boring nights where I decided I would take the question up with the general public – my general public that is.

Here are the responses that I got when I asked some of my friends “What is Love?”

"as far as i'm concerned, love is an excuse by mankind to dignify the lust that they feel for another during one point or another, it's a chemical reaction in the brain that lasts about 90 days (honeymoon period) proven by many scientists who really have too much time on their hands and don't get laid that often...
love is also a varying degree of admiration and acceptance garnered by one towards another
though in mine eyes it is the work of the DEVIL AAAAAAARGH
hahahahaha"

"God is love"

"Love is... that feeling inside when you look at the one you [love] . Its the feeling like you wanna be there for them when you can and you ALWAYS wanna be around them even when you have no reason to be.
Love is wanting to learn more about that person
Wanting to grow with that person
Love has different levels. Not puppy [love] and all that but [love] to different ppl. You do not [love] your gf the same way you [love] your parents.
There is [love] for siblings and [love] for a [love]r and for me, [love] to God.
But the one I told you about just now is of course, [lover] for a [love]r
Well, in general, I dont need to tell you about [love] of parents or God. Love for God is something else also
But when you [love[ someone, you cant seem to get that someone outta your head. You will feel happy when you think about her thought (sic) for guys, they sometimes dont express it that much.
Yea I am under the [love][sick] situation right now."

"warm fuzzy feeling and makes you skip and smile the whole time"

"hm
being a girl on her period and allowing someone to eat the last piece of chocolate and not killing them for it
cos u know that u can
and u know that they will take it
and u know that even if u dont kill them they will probably buy u more chocolate in the future
and that even if thye dont buy u chocolate in the future u still wont kill them cos its probably due to their lack of realisation that u REALLY NEED chocolate on ur period
hm
yes
and that once they realise all that they will probably laugh and thnk ur rly funny (in a nice way)
and u STILL wont seriously kill them properly
(and the same goes reverse, with something equivalent to periods and chocolate in guys - eg crashing their car)
oh oh and even if u kill them really badly they wont run away
cos its lik
not part of the imagination
intense yars"

"hmm
love is not just about loving someone wholeheartedly
it is more than that
love is based on acceptance, giving and understanding
and not forgetting tolerating
each other
and because of love, u want the other party to be happy regardless of how hurt or sad u are"

"it's something that can't be described in words
well..
i cant put it into words at least"

"Love is a feeling where u like someone and to da extent where it cant be defined..
lol"

"o.O
since there is no response...i would say...
Love is everything"

I won’t put what I think, mainly cos this post really isn’t about me. I did initiate this post as a search for an answer but ultimately there isn’t one. You make it all up as you go along.
I gotta say, I wholeheartedly agree with my best friend (her quote's up there) - if ya'll know me at all, you'll know which one I'm talking about.

Squeaky

This pic is too special to just post on Facebook yet.
Hmm, not to hold with tradition but no Boy's face has been put on this blog. EVER. So consider this an exception to that. Sort of.
Edit: By "Sort of." I mean that none of my Boy's faces have ever been displayed on my blog. And even tho this picture does not show his face, it's the closest I've ever come to putting it right up there on the front page. Rest assured your anonymity is still intact.
Edit-edit: Not so anonymous. Anyone who is mildly PC-literate could probably figure out who you are. But I don't think you mind, right?

Going to Dublin on Friday! It's going to be a hell of a trip. 12.5 hours to get there. 26 hours in Dublin. 11.5 hours back. Thankfully I have The Boy as company. I was going to go even if he wasn't with me but it's scary travelling at 11pm at night.

Not much has happened in terms of classes and all. I suppose I should break it down.

First Impressions of Final Year Classes:
Medicine, Ethics and Law: A highly debatable subject. One where I will be cramming the words of my lecturer and tutors down the throats of my soon-to-be doctor friends. Mwahahaha.
Evidence: Criminal Law under a microscope. Should answer a lot of questions I have about criminal and civil procedure as well as standards of proof.
Trusts: Oh lordy, if it were not for the Lecturer I'd be bored outta my mind. Entertaining and adorable fella.
Jurisprudence: If it's anything like the first few weeks, it'll be full of delays, confusion and mass hysteria. And classes haven't even started yet.
(colour coded to match the highlights in my timetable ;)

Everyone is doing well here. Last year's seniors for the most part are still here and therefore robbing me of my senior status! Bah. Ah well, BVC take them away!
The Juniors are a sweet and cool lot. Should be a wild year - of which I shall be watching intently from the sidelines. Apart from Netball and maybe FOD.

* * *

A quick aside about the picture above: I still get a funny gurgling feeling in my stomach everytime I see it. And I feel like squeaking. I think I may have hamster-itis or something. Weird.

Wretched

I feel Awful. Gut-wrenchingly, heart-rippingly AWFUL. With a capital A if you haven't noticed.

I woke up at 10.14am today. Which is UNHEARD of. Demonstrating the extent of my wretchedness.

Verbal diarrhoea to Lea for about an hour till we had exhausted all possible topics of conversation.

Still feel wretched.

Wretched. Wretched. Wretched.

How does feeling wretched feel like? Like there's an anchor attached to some inner organ located in the chest area and it's been dropped of a bridge. Like I'm being sat on by a really lazy elephant. Like there's a significant increase in atmospheric pressure which makes it almost impossible to breathe. Like I'm bring slowly squeezed to death by a very hungry python.

I think the last one is the most accurate. There's definitely a tight, restrictive binding around my lungs. And I think I'm forgetting when to exhale...

Yeah I suppose this is all sounding way too exaggerated to be real. Sure, Misery loves company. But I hate being miserable. I love being happy. So Why should I make this up. I'd rather I not feel this awful and feel joyful and um. Good. I suppose is the operative word.

Calling this a cry for forgiveness would be such a wimpy way to go but seeing as my attempt to stop feeling so wretched was met with voicemail, I gotta let loose somewhere else. That notwithstanding I'm not gonna give up. But I was all prepared to to grovel a bit and that energy has got to go somewhere.