On second thought, let's try to be rational here.

I know that the last few entries have been stricken with outpourings of the heart and it sickens me as much as it probably annoys you. I do indeedy do have several non-emotional entries pending, but we’ll see if I have the time and motivation to finish them. Some pretty good Pulitzer Prize winning stuff I reckon.

Anyway, after watching Someone Like You (Yay Ashley Judd etc etc), I’m taking a new refreshed look at my current single situation. I would love it for it to be his fault. I’m not heartbroken! But a mild version. If total heartbreak was akin to a heart attack, then this is more of an aneurism.

I truly do hope it happens to me again. The good bits, not the bad bits. The bad bits take their toll, but it just takes one little good bit to wash it all away. Spoken from experience.

I don’t know why, but it’s always when you don’t try or don’t look that it comes your way. But then if you try not to try, its works out in reverse and you still don’t get anywhere. I guess the lesson is just to relax. Let the good times roll and the good times will roll to you.

If there’s anything that Ashley Judd has taught me, it’s that second chances do exist. Second and third and fourth chances at finding that something special and it’s not the end of the world if your chance doesn’t work out. As long as you have supportive (albeit crazy) friends to help you thru it, you’ll get by, with nary a scratch – maybe a few, but its all part of growing up.

I don’t know how I’m going to find that person. That “special someone”. I’m sure that there is one person in the world for everyone. There are also people who will lead you to them, either by guiding you or dividing you. Songs, to put into effect: Bless the Broken Road by the Rascal Flatts. I love that song, because it talks about all the past messes that you’ve gotten into before finding that person. It’s inspirational, tho a little bit painful to hear if you’ve just been chucked.

I think I was fine – like totally fine – before that little reminder of him cropped up. Kinda like putting a thick bandage on a wound. No wait. More like the wound’s healed (it was only a little scratch) and then he made it itchy and I scratched. And out pops the blood. Temporary setback.

I will never give up hope on finding “the one”. I just have to remind myself to not jump the gun. But what if he wants to jump the gun? Speaking as a sane and rational (ok, maybe a little biased?) person; I suggest, go slow. The feeling is great when they feel so strongly about you, but if you’re really not ready, then hold back. Never feel like you should follow their tempo.

But the more OK you are, the faster you’re ready to jump and the more heartbroken and torn you are, the more cautious you’re gonna be.

Advice for future self: it exists. It truly does. Finding it is the ultimate question. It’s got nothing to do with pheromones and casual you-know-what is just as good a path as diving nead down into work. Don’t give up on a good thing if there is the remotest chance of it going somewhere. Hope is not the enemy, but don’t read into it any more than it is.

I’m still at peace tho.

A song springs to mind: Illegal by Shakira. Listen and learn. I totally agree with her. Women are emotional creatures. It’s how we were programmed. Live with it fellas.