This ain't right.

This isn’t right. I should be over this. I swear. Get out of my heart.

It was fine when you weren’t around. YOU know who You are. Tho I didn’t give you this blog address I’ll consider this an open letter to you. I didn’t like you that much. Well I tried not to. But you shouldn’t be lingering around.

I don’t like the way this feels. I need to write it out. It’s like:… someone is squeezing my heart. I can barely breathe. It’s not exhilaration. I’m trying to quash it with annoyance. Yeah, refer to previous graphs regarding feelings in and out and you’ll see what I mean.

I guess you can’t not like someone but I just wish you could just control how much. I really didn’t want to like you like this. I’m not stalkering or whatever.

The initial shock of seeing you online (yeap, that’s the trigger. Don’t call me lame, trigger-finger) makes me want to talk to you and not talkt o you at the same time. What the hell is wrong with me?

Babble babble. There is no structure in this post. I’m going to regret writing this so messily tomorrow. Its times like these I need to watch my break-up movies, i.e. Someone Like You, and Under The Tuscan Sun. Good times all round.

I want to know where you’re at. Are you over me? You probably obviously are. I would still like to know. Was there anything to be over in the first place? Am I just overreacting? No and a yes to be in the worst-case scenario.

Hah. Like I’m worth hanging on to. Woah. Major self-esteem crisis here. I really really don’t want to fall down that hole again. There aren’t enough cute guys to flirt with in uni to bounce back too. Not to rebound to, but flirting is therapeutic. Kinda makes you feel… worthy of attention. Hah.

I need that kind of attention. Tyng! Where is my kindred spirit when I need her?

…

(Are mobile phones so redundant nowadays? Pick up woman!)

Aaanyway, sigh. Feel so much better. I guess I need to just distract myself or something and push that part of me aside till it get so squashed and small it doesn’t matter anymore.

Here’s to hoping it works…