Fight? No fight? Fight...

No fights as of late. After having 2 in a row, I think we’ve mutually agreed how this thing is gonna work. I never mention what I think of him and he never pushes me to do what I don’t really want to do. Then we are both ok.

So, with that sorted, things are going good. Smooth sailing and stuff. The poor thing is sick with the flu at the moment and he has a test tomorrow morning. Law ball is tomorrow night but he’s not going because: 1) He has no formal wear, and 2) There were no more seats. Both lame excuses but he’s been sickly lately so even if, it wouldn’t be really too fun for him.

Anyway, I told him, as with all these grand ball dance function things, after the dinner, they don’t really mind who goes in, and I know most of the people in charge, so it’ll be no worries if he came round after dinner. He was a bit – ok, quite – reluctant to confirm. I do really wanna see him tomorrow. Only if he’s feeling better tho. Would feel awful if he dragged himself out for me.

I have the most awesome dress. It’s a soft halter low-back dress. Dark turquoise and black. I say low-back because the back falls just lower than my bra-line, which means I can’t wear a bra. It’s either tape or those cup things. I’m heading to MidValley to buy the boob thing and get make-up done. Maybe get hair done too. Then off to Westin to get dressed in Ally’s room. Thanks Ally! I’ll probably help out and end up ushering people in. It’s the least I could do, right?

Probably stash my stuff in Ally’s room so I’ll end up there at the end of the night. Oh well. I’m not staying over so I don’t think I have to spring for the room. I don’t think it would be fair if I did. I mean, I’m not using it to the extent the others are. Well, we’ll see. I actually wanna go to Modestos with Venon and people, but since I have to stick with my stuff, doesn’t seem like I have a choice.

Anyway, I hope he’s doing better.

I keep having nagging questions that he’s doing something behind my back. Or it could be that I’m expecting too much. Either way, I’m still uneasy in this new relationship. That’s what I think this is. We are dating and stuff, and we are a couple couple. But still, there are moments where I doubt him and his commitment. And I know I shouldn’t. If I told you all of the reassurances he’s given me, you’d swoon – unfortunately, I’m crazily cynical about romance nowadays.

* * *
He just called. I have no idea if he’s coherent or not but he refuses to argue with me after bringing up the issue of arguments. Granted he’s sick – but that’s irritating. Now I’m all riled up. Dumb shit.

Memo to self: don’t bring up past arguments. You will never agree till… ever.

* * *

Have I mentioned that he is adamant that his college friends not know? I mean, I get that it's embarassing for people to talk about it, but not humiliating to the point where it's life threatening. Get a grip.