The Story that never finished

Lea and I were speculating on the romantic life of a very (understandably) secretive friend of ours who recently got into a relationship with a "mysterious girl" (can you hear Peter Andre singing in the background?). Anyway, we were bored of just guessing and decided to make something up...

When the world was young, there lived a fearless hunter. (me)
of flies. he was the biggest frog ive ever seen (Lea)
The frog was a lone hunter. he hunted for himself and only himself.
However, the frog was lonely.
He craved a princess
a true and beautiful princess, fair of face, body and disposition
she also had to be not-a-frog, as our froggie hunter had some strange fantasies occasionally
oh how he longed for the day when a fair maiden would lie by his bogside and scratch his warts.
he saw how happy his cousin egbert was with his monkey and decided to seek another mammal.
of the hairless kind
or rather
less hairy than a monkey but still relatively hairy when compared to his own species
(but frogs dont have hair...)
(this frog had facial hair ok)
The fretful frog pondered his fate and decided to consult the wise old toad who lived in the swamp of Kedah.
The old toad was said to have divine abilities and could answer any question provided he was presented with good grades.
Our froggie friend worked his croak off that year to provide the grades needed for a divination
At the end of his eforts he was awarded a meagre 3 out of 5 flies. Not disheartened, he hopped onwards, towards the cow-infested swamp.
He had to rush madly through the swamp to escape the toxic cow farts.
Barely escaping the noxious swamp, as he opened his mouth to inhale sweet fresh air, he spotted the odious fortunetelling toad in the distance.
He almost choked as the stench hit him and thrashed wildly to land himself on the mound on wich the great toad sat
Crawling with all his might he dragged his weaked limbs up to the throne of wet leaves and begged the toad to tell him of his one true love.
unfortunately, as the toad was about to answer, a great big cow came and ate the toad.
He begged the cow to puke out the toad, so desperate was he
in the end he bit the cow's udder so hard that the cow screamed until it was hoarse
and the voice of the toad could be heard from within the stomach of the cow.
The toads voice floated out of the distressed cows mouth.
"seek the maiden who is cursed by the peacock. release her from her enchantment and she will be yours forever. she is the one."

Who knows where the story leads to... or if we will ever finish it...