Warning: Pissed off and Hungry

I don’t know what it is today but I’m feeling uber pissed. There are a few factors I can think of:

1. PMS
2. The Boy

1. Aches slightly and is probably the reason why I’m more irritable today and for a week to come (I can see the FUTURE!).

2. Here’s where I list the things that The Boy has done in the past 72 hours that are making me fuming mad:

He didn’t call. We have this mini rule that the first person to go to sleep calls the other one. Inevitably its usually me but sometimes he KO’s before I do. Even if I’m as groggy as a baby on cough medicine, I use my last ounce of strength to hit my speed dial and call him. It’s courtesy, right? But now. granted he had a test to study for, he KO’s on Tuesday night and doesn’t call. Me, thinking he’s still up, I call him. no answer. I then text him a pleasant night time greeting and go to sleep – thinking he’ll call me back after he’s out of the loo. Nope. Nothing. Not even the next morning. I get extremely frustrated and refuse to call him out of irritation to scold him for not calling. He calls around 7pm Wednesday night – after a long day of forcing him out of my mind. Idiot.

He’s slow. We’re playing this online MMORPG (Last Chaos) and its ard 1am Thursday morning and I’m getting groggy and sleepy and I wanna go to bed. His character needs some accessories for something and I offer to give one of mine to him. Remember, this is 1am and I’m really tired. I’m back in the town centre and I ask him to come back to town so I can give him the stone accessory and go to bed. No reply. I wait about 2 minutes and get fed up and decide to go to him and stand in front of him till he wakes up or realises he’s being talked to. Granted, he was probably in the toilet or something. Halfway there, he finally replies and he teleports back to town. I run all the way back. Trade the stupid accessory with him, say good night and leave. I’m in no mood to talk to him, especially since he’s got a test tomorrow so I message “night” and go to sleep – sorta hoping he’ll call me.

* * *

I have realised that I only get period pains when I’m stressed out. Like in the office, or worrying about The Boy. When I’m at home relaxing, I’m fine. That’s gonna screw up my career if I let it so I’m suffering thru it in the office right now. Don’t wanna move around too much tho.

* * *

I think the second thing was a relapse of me being pissed over the first one. The “not-calling” thing really pushes my buttons. And it’s not the first time he’s done it. Not on purpose but omission is just as good as guilty. Especially if you have a duty to do something. (Law School’s good for something.)

* * *

Staring into a toilet bowl of red liquid is strangely gross and fascinating at the same time. You know its blood, and you know it’s yours, but its so blended and not at all lumpy. Rather cool.

And wow, I just grossed myself out. Ew.

Triumphs 3 - Disasters 1

FYI, Cardiff said yes.

So I’m definitely going.

Going to have to say goodbye to the Boy. Unless he does something drastic. But that’s entirely up to me and partly up to him. I’m not going to say anything, I’ll just drop the bomb cos there’s no point in trying to whine about something that not gonna change.

What else…

Ah yes. I bought the Everlast shoes I wanted. In beige. OK, the colour is kinda crap and the right shoe is giving me blisters but that’s all to do with my eerily deformed feet and nothing to do with those gorgeous shoes. I wish I had them in green tho. But alas. I couldn’t wait. No more sizes.

* * *

I’ve been stressing lately cos after I found out that Cardiff accepted me, I told parents and they gave me a lecture-life lesson in finances and expenses and working hard and expectations and effort and study tips. Basically the whole shebang. Not that I don’t appreciate what they have to go thru, but I now feel like not going because I feel like a useless parasite. Like a lowly tapeworm. No. Make that “like a tapeworm of a tapeworm.”

Really wasn’t in the mood at all that day. Monday by the way.

Then I called Boy up that night and whined about it. He was slightly helpful. Well, more help than a brick wall but that’s good enough. I reckon I should have called up one of my girlfriends, but it wasn’t that kind of talk. Go figure – I go to him for reassurance and I get “Normal lah.” I just keep asking for it, don’t I? When will I learn… *grins*

And surprisingly, yesterday with the Boy wasn’t bad. Helped him do his assignment somewhat which I don’t really mind. Well, as long as he’s around, I don’t feel annoyed. As long as he’s around or I’m keeping busy. Keep those nasty destructive thoughts at bay.

Went for a nice dinner in Bangsar Villiage (!) at Fish & Co. Yeah, the (!) is cos he rarely ever takes me out on account of a flat wallet. I can’t complain. A treat is a treat. Wish his wallet wasn’t so flat tho. But, it does save me the trouble of having to worry about what he's up to all the time. I think: “I wonder what he’s doing/where he is/who he’s with?” and then I think: “Can’t be anything to worry about, he’s broke.” There is fun to be had without money, but that’s nothing to worry about either. Hah, he whines enough for me to not have to worry. It’s only if he stops whining, then I should be suspicious.

* * *

BBQ at Lea’s tmr and if he can get his assignment done by then, I’m dragging him along. Or maybe not. Still… I need a ride there.

Ponderific.