I think it's...

Gosh what is this feeling?

Overwhelming sensations of warmth and tinglyness that I wish would never go away. It truly radiates from deep within my heart and I can almost hear the contented sigh as is flows through my arteries and all over my body, right down to my toes.

I just watched 27 Dresses and don’t get me wrong, it’s a god awful movie but I’m a sucker for romantic happy endings so forgive me if I wax lyrical for a bit.

I think I’m going to have to watch some kick-ass kungfu action flick to offset the overload of dopamine that’s probably making me feel this way.

The thing about romantic comedies (from a girl’s perspective) is that when we watch it, we always put ourselves in their place. Regardless of how similar in characteristics we are or even if we would make the same decisions. Girls really just want to be wooed and chased and swept off their feet – in not such dramatic terms but along the lines.

Now I’m not your typical girly girl. I don’t like pink and I don’t like being all cutesy (unless it suits my purpose). I do like shopping but I tend to do a quick browse rather than a full scale rummage. I enjoy football – watching it mainly - and running around. I refuse to be limited by the fact that as a girl, I am a victim of my emotions but there are a few things I will readily admit to as being influential to my moods and therefore reactions. I get PMS. I do get mood swings. And as previously stated, I’m a sucker for happy endings.

I don’t know why that part of being a “girly girl” is evident in me and why the other emotional components aren’t. I’m a hopeless romantic and a cynic at the same time. I truly do believe in love at first sight and I think I’ve been a witness to it but I highly doubt that’s ever going to happen to me. I believe in everlasting love but yet again, not involving me.
There are so many good things in this world that happen to great people and I honestly believe that they do exist – I just can’t picture it happening to me – so if anything along those lines remotely seems to point to that direction, I can’t help but be cynical.

I question myself: why? Why be so cynical and disbelieving in my own fortune in, um, that area?
I blame history. But I shouldn’t really. I’m smarter than that.
I blame trust issues. But that shouldn’t count towards new things now should it?
I have to protect myself. Which is true. But to what extent?
So therein lies the question of Why?

There are a million excuses I could give before finally hitting the nail on the head but I doubt you want to hear it. It’s long winded and boring and probably you’ve heard it before. So without out going into details as to the what, let’s deal with the solution.

The quick fix solution is easy and fun and dare I say it, non-committal. Distract oneself until I grow up and have to make the real choices in life, because as is painfully obvious to me everyday, I am so very much younger (and unfortunately immature) than everyone else.
When I was younger, people used to say that I was very mature for my age. I would converse with people age groups above my own. I could hold an adult’s attention by the mere words that came out of my lips. I was used to being thought of as smart and educated and mature. But as I grew older and school came along, all that didn’t seem important. I wanted to play. And be a kid. And I think even until now I love living that childhood that I don’t remember having.

I’ve been reckless and foolish to put it bluntly in terms of stuff that people take a while to consider. Thinking back, I don’t regret anything that I did – I knew what I was doing and I accept that things had to end - but I just wish I knew then what I know now.

That is, not everything is so serious. There are times when you put everything you have into something just at the flick of a finger and times when you carefully wade into the shallows before you dive head first into the deep end. I shamefully say that I picked the wrong action for the wrong scenario.

But that was then.

So what has brought on this long babbling post about romance and the heart stuff and all that mushiness? I would be lying if I said that events of today had not altered my perception somewhat but in truth it’s the sappy chick flick known as 27 Dresses.

In the end, the reason that I like those movies isn’t the acting (heck no) or the storyline (well in part), but it’s the ending. Of course they never show you what happens afterwards – fights, divorce – the realities of life. But the endings are those picture-perfect moments that make all the ache and stuff worth it I think. And that’s what I think I’m hoping for. The movie plot sets the scene that tells you why it’s so special, but if it happens to you, then you know the past and you truly appreciate the fullness of emotion leading up to that moment.

Romantics like me tend to live moment to moment. It’s those glorious blips in time that make the sloppy journey all worthwhile. A true romantic (which I consider myself to be) is not fazed by the grand gestures of love and affection. We are touched by the deeper meaning behind it. You could hire a parade of flower floats declaring your undying love for someone but that would pale in comparison to a hand written note scrawled in crayon from the person sitting next to you that said “I Love You”.

Big WOAH right here. Don’t take this to mean this is what I or any other self proclaimed romantic wants. This is just emphasising the point about sincerity being the most prominent thing when it comes to these things. So if there’s anything that you take away after reading this blog (in addition to the encapsulating awe that you feel for me as a magnificent blog writer), let it be this: be sincere. With deepest feeling and the whole of your soul say it and make it be true. Don’t over do it but don’t under appreciate it.
Because for a certain few and a great many girls, that’s all that really counts.
And trust me; it will hold you in good stead in the long run.

Now I have to go and hide my head because I’ve just let out the secret to making a girl fall in love with anyone.

Making sense of my Fallible definitions

Sara’s Social Interaction Gradient.

The following lists out the different and segregated levels of Social Interaction as interpreted by yours truly.

• Hanging Out – The more the merrier. Primary purpose is to just goof around and do general brain flushing activities.
• Casual Dating – Almost the same as Hanging Out but the intention is to get to know the other person better.
• Serious Dating – Progressive from Casual. Mutual Attraction. Romance starts here.
• Courting – That semi-awkward period where you both wanna get serious and committed but neither are willing to ask. Also known as the “Bubble Phase”.
• Couple Status – The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Stage. Congrats. You are now in a relationship. Whoopdee-frickin-doo.
  

Pardon me if I sound a bit cynical but it’s not like I’ve experienced the upside to this scale at any point. In hindsight, I suppose you could consider it a mental progression into Romance.

The main reason I figured I had to put down this list (and Lea agrees with me here) is cos of past misunderstandings with members of the opposite sex.

He says: Let’s go out.
I say: Ok.

He means: Let’s be a couple!
I mean: Let’s go hang out.

And you can see where it can all go horribly wrong.

Stupid high school, hormonally driven boys.
(Well it lasted like a week. Who says “I Love You” after a week?)

And then there are the ones that take the flirting seriously. And I know it’s cruel to lead people on and I always stop it before it gets too bad. And I always clarify that I just mean to be friends. Unforch, it’s cost me a few friends and a few broken hearts (that have happily mended I’m pleased to say).

Ok, as a disclaimer to that last paragraph, there are those to whom flirting is intentional and are intended to produce results.

* * *

The thrill of the hunt.

I really think like a guy sometimes. And I know some of you will hate me after this next bit.

You know how guys have this biological urge to spread their seed? I think I’m the anti-matter to that. Not that I’m the female version but the thrill of the chase is soooo much fun.

Flirtatious banter should never end between couples I think. It’s what makes having an other half fun to be around. Kinda shows that the attraction never dies, ya’know?
The last one turned into a squatting toad after we got thru the couple stage.

And I make a terrible girlfriend I think. Clingy, needy and jealous. I think jealous goes with the territory but the first two are probably by-products of the neglect of that idiot Ex.

* * *

Enough depressive crap.

I have just finished a whole half-pack of sour gummies. And didn’t eat anything else all day. No, not anorexic (Did you not read about the gummies?). Dunno, just didn’t feel like making anything to eat. Nothing I can think of to make to eat in the kitchen.

* * *

Cardiff Games (22^nd March 2008)

Not enough players for netball! I’m going out of my mind! It’s so not fair. Dammit. And we could beat the Bruneians too. We can’t host the Games and NOT send a team. That’s just pathetic.

* * *

Oh and as I’m going back to KL in the Summer, Sin Yew has tagged along my flight and is apparently booking tickets. This will be my last Summer in the tropics! Its 3^rd year, then BVC. Parents want me to stay in the UK and “not go back to Malaysia”. Gotta find a house next session.

A bit of a random post but I’m all drained out after doing Labour Law tutorials and staring at my Laptop all day.

* * *

I refuse to use the phrase “Ciao” to sign off anything. Its stupid and poser-ish and a blatant attempt to try and seem “cool”. A simple “bye” will do for me.

Bye.

Get the Skinny. Shoes, Sex, and Stinking.

I‘ve been thinking about all the things I want to write on my blog and the list is overwhelming.

1. Getting skinny and henceforth eating more
2. What I need to buy – not really necessities but required clothing nonetheless
Which leads to
3. Shoes
4. Elisa and Lea and ThouWhoShouldNotBeMentioned and the whole Sex thing.
5. New label – “Candid”. For relationship things now that not everything is so depressing.
6. Working stinks.
7. Clubbing

Ok, have to get out of the office – finally. So I have to log off. Will continue this later.

-Tuesday, 5.56pm.

* * *

Ok, so I was out for a couple of days not blogging. Good thing I wrote down that list. There is more to add to that but let’s just get started shall we?

1. The skinny.
Fact: My pants are looser. Fact: My wrists are smaller. Fact: I do not own a scale so I go by clothes.
I think its cos of stress. First it was exams. And when that was over with there were scheduling probs with The Boy. During exams I did loose a fair bit of weight but nothing I was too worried about. Then after exams just lying at home, too lazy to fix my own lunch, I lost some more. Then all the worrying about The Boy and how we are and what we are gonna do or not do or whatever. I’m a constant worrier of relationship things as you are well aware.
So as a guess, I have lost a bit of weight as counted by the loosened pants and the lack of inches around my waist.
There is one thing about this that troubles me. I’ve always been quite round and chubby, especially thru the puberty phase and all and I’ve always wanted to lose a few inches around the tummy area. However, when you friends start saying how skinny you are getting, it raises a few flags in my head. Am I skinny-you’ve lost the baby fat, good for you-skinny, or skinny-you’ve lost too much, we are scared you are getting anorexic-skinny?
I mean, I’m happy I look better in t-shirts and things but the lack of ass is annoying. My boobs are still firmly meaty tho.
I do love to eat but my skipping lunch is not really a problem for me anymore. It used to be: skip lunch = whine to mum about dinner. Now it’s: skip lunch = wait for dinner. There is a big diff. I still like to eat but I definitely think my stomach has shrunk. Like after the 30-Hour Famine feeling. The smallest morsel of food makes you satisfied.
And then there is the added fat-burning netball practice – now twice a week till end of June. THAT, plus I’m playing CENTRE. Which means twice the running I’m used too. I need to work on my stamina but with the long hours in the office and the late coming home (from office – I blame parents), I don’t have time to go swimming or even go jogging. And no way’ I’m getting up at 6am to do either. I’m not a morning person.
So: less food – check. More exercise – check. More stress – check. Loss of appetite – check. I’m well on my way to a really unhealthy lifestyle. I want to not work. It would really solve a lot. I think.

2. What I need to buy
Track pants. Tight ones that stick to my legs and don’t flop around like baggy pants. I was thinking Nike – cos of the DriFit fabric, but that’s just cos I have expensive taste. Anything that fits me and isn’t waist high will be fine. I am realizing that shorts during netball are not too comfy. I mean, they are ok, but my legs need airing and if I sit like guys sit to cool down, my shorts are pretty exposed.
New trainers. The ones I bought 3 years ago (that’s right! Time for new ones!) are, um, falling apart. If you can call a bit of rubber on the bottom getting unstuck. I’m so bored with the white ones. I want funky coloured ones. I want the silver and neon green Reeboks that were so comfy! Damn you empty bank account.
A black fabric belt. I know I can get one from 1Utama. 2 belts for RM10. And they are reversible. Which makes it 4 belts for RM10. Not so much a want as a fashion necessity.

Oh. In addition to things I want (for like a present) – Notebook sleeve / holder / bag. Probably from Penskin, Golla, or something else that’s not black, sissy or plain. Really expensive so not expecting any returns on this wish. No harm in trying.

3. Shoes
As above, I want new trainers. I also want the Everlast shoes. I can't find a picture to post up to show you so if you want to know what they are like, just ask. They are RM69.90 by the way and almost out of sizes!

4. ThouWhoShouldNotBeMentioned (Sex)
I took down the name from the last post. Had a lot of questions about that I it kinda felt think I was betraying a confidence so name is down but statement still applies.
Elisa was webcamming me in the office that day so she read it and asked some questions and figured it out. I mean its fine and all to ask me about it. I don’t mind. It’s the whole judgemental thing I want to stay away from. Not that you are not entitled to your own opinion about sex but its different once you actually have to face it and deal with it and after you do, a lot of things change. It’s not so taboo anymore and because I have some questions, I’d prefer talking to someone who won’t judge me. Well, not as much as the others might.
It’s hard to talk about sex when: a) you’re not sure if the person’s had it, b) how they deal with talking about it, and c) how they will perceive you once they know what your situation is. By the way, the answer to the above for me is: a) no, b) very candidly, and c) I’m probably the most immoral and outrageous of my bunch of friends so if I frown on you, you are defiantly going to hell.

5. “Candid”
To deal with the relationship issues that doesn’t make me sad. Like talking about what the guy did and what questions I have about “us”. And especially about sex. I have to be rather in a nonchalant mood to talk about it as if it were a whole normal thing.

And while I’m at it, the previous post about “being in love” is moot. Rephrase to “being in lust”. I know - I’m a bad Christian, but… I have no excuse. Temptation is too fun.

And the answer is still No.
His answer that is.
Oh, mine is too btw. *sly wink*

6. Working stinks.
Picture a secretary. Then picture her in a really small cubicle. Now make her chair immobile. Now imagine her boss is a total spaz. Now imagine she doesn’t get paid. Or have a car. Or the ability to escape her employers even once she gets home.
Welcome to my work week.
Tho I do get one day off (negotiated).The office makes my nose clog or something. Whatever it is, the office is reaaaaaally dry. The old office was and the new office is. I think my parents are like human moisture suckers or something. And they don’t feel the dryness at all. I’m like drinking water all day so I won’t crackle up and disintegrate into dust. And yet, I try not to drink so much because then I would have to climb out of the prison that is my chair and go to the loo every 15 minutes – no joke.

And I get the most mundane jobs too. I’m the best photocopier in the office (of 4 people) so I get the glamorous job of sitting in front of the 4-in-1 printer-scanner-fax-copier for 4 hours breathing in toner powder.
And let’s not forget binding. Which is preferable to copying because at least I have something to do all the time instead of pressing a button and waiting.
Other than the admin stuff I have a file of invoices that I have to enter into the accounting system, also known as data entry. THE most boring and not-worthwhile job ON THE PLANET. If it were up o me, I’d quit and look for another job. No amount of money could possibly tempt me to ever do data entry. Even for a million ringgit. Make that pound sterling and we should talk…

7. Clubbing
Thursday night + Maison = Ladies night + R&B! The best time ever! Unforch, The Boy asked to see me on Thursday so No Clubbing for Moi. Was planning on taking Friday off and seeing him then, but I usually cave. No biggie. I can go some other time, plus I would feel dead tired the next day and what with Saturday and Sunday killer practices, I may just collapse. And it’s no fun if Your Boy isn’t there dancing with you.

* * *

The Boy has immaculate timing. Just when I kicked him out of the house (not literally - like how celebs kick the Mtv Cribs crew out) I was feeling all like “it’s all very physical” and “there’s no like real connection” and “I don’t know what he’s thinking”. 10 minutes later on the way to Futsal he msgs me to know he appreciates me. I could copy it verbatim but it’s not required.

I would be a shitty celeb. I don’t like telling people about my situation unless they ask. And I don’t like people prying into my personal issues unless I need and ask for help. Yeah, the paparazzi can lick my middle finger.

Oh, we (Boy and I) are kinda hooked on this game called Last Chaos. It’s an online free MMORPG. Kinda like WOW but smaller. Fun tho. He’s way more addicted to it than I am. Not so much an issue – tho I get bored sometimes and I want ATTENTION! But heading the list on Facebook of “There Are Some Things Girls Should Always Do For Guys. Period.”, I allow him the small window of nerdiness. And I take comfort that at least I play it too.

The Boy has a lack of money. It shouldn’t annoy me. But it does. Cos I paid for his lunch (RM12.50) and… there was no compensation. I mean, at least offer. I think I would have said no. But at least offer. Oh well, no major harm.
Things would work a lot easier if we were on the same pay scale. But he tells me his family has financial issues with juggling money here and in Australia so I’ll give him a bye this time.
We haven’t gone to see a movie in ages. So technically we aren’t going out. Weird huh.

* * *

Sex: Yes please.
[Reference to old McDonald’s application joke. Chill.]

I have slept with him however. Where “sleeping with” is defined as “sleeping. In the same bed. Next to each other.” Albeit, with minimal clothing.

* * *

With all the other guys I dated. Or something close to that, I could usually tell what they were thinking. Andin turn, manipulate them to my evil needs. Mwahahahahahaha... Evil laugh aside, I can't read this one. I think I've mentioned this before. And it troubles me because I have slight control freak issues and I constatly worry if he's gonna cheat on me. Because he does love his sex, that I will say. Could i like put a tracker on him or something? Just a thought.

Getting laid... NOT

I don’t know whether I should blog this or not since so many people I know are reading this blog. But I need to get this off my chest so here goes.

I just hope he never finds this blog cos that would spell out HELL for me. Erk.

Go figure but I think I’m too innocent for my own good. Good god, I’m almost 20! I feel like a nun in a brothel. Really. Take for example, yesterday night. First. Hickey. Ever. How sad is that. Actually, I’m relishing the fact that I actually got a hickey so the sad part has yet to hit me.

Anyway, back to the bits that are worryin me…

He is so bloody horny. Like seriously horny. I’m partially flattered and partially a little scared. Flattered cos no one’s tried to get in my pants before. Scared – because no one’s tried to get in my pants before. So it’s safe to say, I’m a little freaked out.

So yeah, I’ve told him to tell me if anything I do is annoying cos I have a tendency not to notice. And one of those things, are my rules. The rules so far (that I’ve blogged out) are fine and harmless. It’s the extra rules that are really starting to annoy him; which are:

• No boys in the house when parents are out
• No you cannot kiss me there.
• You cannot French kiss me after you’ve been smoking – I still have to learn how to French kiss btw
• You cannot touch my ass – even thru jeans

I’ve actually relaxed those rules for other guys (!) but just that I’ve only known him for… a month or so? He’s still new to me. Hehe I’m kinda enjoying frustrating him so much tho. See how long he’s willing to wait – I really should stop with the games…

I’m very protective of myself. That’s true. It’s what he said – and I said that I have to be because no one else is going to be protective of me if I’m not. He said he would! But I said he has no self control – I have proof. He said he does. Should I take his word for it? Maybe I should let him prove that he does. But what if I’m right? Sigh. I should really buy some pepper spray.

Oh, and when I said before that I trust people unconditionally, that means that I trust them… to not screw me over. I don’t trust anyone not to screw me. There’s a difference.

Anyway, not to say that I don’t enjoy making out with him – I do enjoy that. Very much so. But I get to a point where I get so self conscious while making out that I have to stop and I should really get over that. It’s debilitating. I feel bad for him tho. I keep accusing him of being some sex-mad, horny guy. Defence mechanism. Sorry.

My favourite phrase this week is “See how.” It means – in my terms – that there is a possibility that I will [insert verb], but I’m not giving a definite answer. But the outlook is good.

Oh, and another thing he’s annoyed at me for is: the first time he sent me home from netball we took my sunglasses and I snatched them off his head. “Selfish” the word he used. Godd*ammit! I was kidding, you over-sensitive goof! Get over it! If you really want to wear them, you can. I just wanted to get your attention! And I’m sorry if I scratched ur face. Really sorry. But you can be such a big baby sometimes.

So this is what I mean when I say war is so much simpler that this whole… relationship thing. I wont say love even though it may fit the phrase better. He likes and lusts me. HAH. *exxxxxxxxxcellent* (Mr Burns style) and I don’t mean that in its porn context.

I have yet to find a stance on porn. I think I don’t mind. As long as it’s not an addiction its ok? Ok. Not that he's addicted. I hope not. That would be... gross.

He’s noticed that I waaaaay over-think things too much. Don’t let myself go with my heart over my head. Sorry, force of habit. I think I’ll relax more once I get to know you better. But for now, I’m sticking with what I know best. Actually, the last time I let myself go (emotionally, kinda) was with the, um, other one. No names… And that one hurt. So I locked up pretty hard. Lea should know what I’m talking about. Convince me to loosen up! In the immortal words of Shaun: “She needs to get laid.” I’m inclined to agree. Not that I’m actually gonna do it but I agree with the concept. I need to fking relax. And since I don’t smoke, I don’t really have a outlet. Getting laid (metaphorically) – objective 1.

Wow. That is such a weird paragraph to write.

So yes, we have talked about the sex thing. And yes, I’m still a V. Go on, laugh. I don’t care. And I have made up my mind on when: when I’m in love. So he’s got a godd*amn long way to go. Hmm, what are the bases again? Well according to Wikipedia, we’re half way to First base.

Oh. And I just thought of another thing. He doesn’t get me horny. Yet. Well. Yeah, yet. So no chance there buddy. Hah. This it turning out to be such an X-rated post. Oh well. I’m hoping the comments wont be too… “omg Sara, you slut! How can you kiss and tell?!” How can I not? And I don’t see a problem. As long as I don’t go into intimate detail. Right?

Boy Noise: Vol 3 - Happy news! of sorts...

Wow. So we have progressed.

And things are not as bad as I have feared.

I think I’ll describe it in phases. Of increasing physical contact.

Phase 1:

He. Um. Grabbed my hand. And held it. And I didn’t resist. Ah well. That was cute. And all this was at his friends place while the other guys (his friends) were playing Winning Eleven on the PS2 – on the projector screen! Well, it was on the wall but same diff.

He kinda snuggled against it. It was slightly embarrassing at the time and I didn’t think abt it much but… well, you’ll see.

Phase 2:

He was dropping me home. Same night as the above. We’re at the clubhouse of my condo. We just had this, um, discussion about status stuff. And he kisses me on the cheek. Aww, so sweet right?

Phase 3:

This was… a few hours ago, before he dropped me home. I had just (well not just, but it was like a few hours after) finished netball practice and I haven’t had a shower cos I haven’t gone home yet. He’s driving up to my condo. And he asks what time I have to be back. And I say, “Why? I’m almost home already!” and he pulls over to the side of the road like right opposite the condo and leans over and… well, kinda nuzzles my neck. Silly boy didn’t take off his seat belt. Tho I think that was cos he didn’t wanna freak me out. And we get into this half talking-half nuzzling thing. And he’s leaning over to me and I’m curled up in my seat; and I don't mind so much cos it’s so cute of him. Just that it’s so… dunno. New. Never had a guy who wanted to get so mushy before. There are more descriptive ways to explain this, but its all a little fresh in my head to put into words today.

He tried to kiss me. As in, he was kissing my neck n my cheek and all but I refused to let him near the lips. New rule! You cannot kiss me if you have been smoking. The smell is bad enough – I don’t wanna taste it…

* * *

I kinda like the fact that he likes me so much and that I have finally found some guy that won’t run away. Yay me!

Ok, whatever.

But to be fair, I have no idea why he likes me so much. And he does! And he’s very manja. And in case I forget what manja is: manja comes from the malay word “to pamper” and it’s used in the sense that you will pout and be very child-like to get what you want. And usually it’s used in reference to annoying clingy girls but it’s very suitable for my Boy.

And he IS my Boy now. I asked him and he sed yeah but he was like “aiyah, I wanted to [make a big deal out of it]” kinda thing. And I sed “no need” but I talked to him online n sed, if u really wanna make a big deal out of it, u can – I’ll pretend I never sed what I sed.

So unofficially he is, but officially, dunno lah. But at least I know where we stand. And that’s all I care about. At least I can sleep at night knowing that I’m ok in his books. Hopefully more than ok, but we’ll start there. Let’s not get too ambitious.

I still have to tell him my one (just made up) rule about forgiveness:

I can forgive everything, except one thing – cheating. There is no turning back from that. Trust is something that I give everyone and once you give it away, you cant get it back.

A long speech, but necessary. I think the first line should suffice.

* * *

And he bites. Well not hard, but it’s a little weird. I’m not too fond of the feel of teeth on me but we’ll also see how that goes.

Seeing him tmr! Um, yay?

Rules of Sara: Boys (Part 2)

1. Do not yearn. Yearning is bad for health.
2. Don’t play games. Even if you know you’re going to win, you will lose. And it will only confuse you further.
3. Don’t think long term. Consider the implications but live for the here and now.
4. When he says he will call or message you, he means in the next 24 hours or so – time is relative.
5. When walking side by side, do not fold your arms. Leave the arm closest to him free and naturally swinging – giving him the perfect opportunity to initiate hand holding.
6. When talking across the table, never fold your arms unless in jest or if you are cold.
7. Remain passionate but fair about favoured sports teams.
8. Never try and bluff about a subject.
9. Try to look at him when in conversation at least 80% of the time.
10. Talk to him more than you talk to his friends – regardless of how important you think it is for his friends to like you.

Rules of Sara: Social interaction with boys, with a view to pursue romantic interests.

1. Don’t over-analyse.
2. When a word, phrase or sentence can be construed in two ways, they always mean the good way.
3. Do not show any forward signs of open flirting, such as hand-holding, long eye stares and inane grinning, unless initiated by him.
4. No real kisses unless it is serious. Cheek kisses are acceptable.
5. Seriousness is determined by him.
6. Give him the benefit of the doubt unless shown or proven otherwise.
7. When faced with his friends, be friendly, but not too friendly; back him up, even if you think its funny; and don’t try to understand their jokes.
8. Do not talk too much. Small talk is acceptable, but rein it in sometimes, ok?
9. Try to find common points of interest without being nosy.
10. Find out as much as you can from non-him sources, but do it in a non-stalker-like way.