Gosh what is this
feeling?
Overwhelming sensations of warmth and tinglyness that I wish would never go away. It truly radiates from deep within my heart and I can almost hear the contented sigh as is flows through my arteries and all over my body, right down to my toes.
I
just watched 27 Dresses and don’t get me wrong, it’s a
god awful movie but I’m a
sucker for
romantic happy endings so forgive me if I
wax lyrical for a bit.
I think I’m going to have to watch some
kick-ass kungfu action flick to offset the
overload of dopamine that’s probably making me feel this way.
The thing about
romantic comedies (from a girl’s perspective) is that when we watch it, we always
put ourselves in their place. Regardless of how similar in characteristics we are or even if we would make the same decisions. Girls really just want to be
wooed and
chased and
swept off their feet – in not such dramatic terms but along the lines.
Now I’m
not your typical girly girl. I
don’t like pink and I
don’t like being all
cutesy (unless it suits my purpose). I do like
shopping but I tend to do a quick browse rather than a full scale rummage. I enjoy
football – watching it mainly - and
running around. I refuse to be limited by the fact that as a girl, I am a victim of my emotions but there are a few things I will readily admit to as being influential to my moods and therefore reactions. I get
PMS. I do get mood swings. And as previously stated, I’m a
sucker for happy endings.
I don’t know why that part of being a
“girly girl” is evident in me and why the other emotional components aren’t. I’m a
hopeless romantic and a
cynic at the same time. I truly do believe in
love at first sight and I think I’ve been a witness to it but I highly doubt that’s ever going to happen to me. I believe in
everlasting love but yet again, not involving me.
There are so many good things in this world that happen to great people and I honestly believe that they do exist – I just
can’t picture it happening to me – so if anything along those lines remotely seems to point to that direction, I can’t help but be
cynical.
I question myself:
why? Why be so cynical and disbelieving in my own fortune in, um,
that area? I blame
history. But I shouldn’t really. I’m smarter than that.
I blame
trust issues. But that shouldn’t count towards new things now should it?
I have to
protect myself. Which is true. But to what extent?
So therein lies the question of
Why?There are a
million excuses I could give before finally hitting the nail on the head but I doubt you want to hear it. It’s
long winded and
boring and probably you’ve
heard it before. So without out going into details as to the what, let’s deal with the
solution.
The
quick fix solution is
easy and
fun and dare I say it,
non-committal. Distract oneself until I grow up and have to make the real choices in life, because as is painfully obvious to me everyday, I am so very much younger (and unfortunately immature) than everyone else.
When I was
younger, people used to say that I was
very mature for my age. I would
converse with people age groups above my own. I could
hold an adult’s attention by the mere words that came out of my lips. I was used to being thought of as
smart and
educated and
mature. But as I grew older and school came along, all that didn’t seem important. I wanted to play. And be a kid. And I think even until now I love living that childhood that I don’t remember having.
I’ve been
reckless and
foolish to put it bluntly in terms of stuff that people take a while to consider. Thinking back, I don’t regret anything that I did – I knew what I was doing and I accept that things had to end - but I just
wish I knew then what I know now.
That is,
not everything is so serious. There are times when you
put everything you have into something just at the flick of a finger and times when you
carefully wade into the shallows before you dive head first into the deep end. I shamefully say that I picked the
wrong action for the
wrong scenario.
But that was then.
So what has brought on this
long babbling post about
romance and the
heart stuff and all that
mushiness? I would be lying if I said that
events of today had not altered my perception somewhat but in truth it’s the sappy chick flick known as
27 Dresses.
In the end, the reason that I like those movies isn’t the acting (heck no) or the storyline (well in part), but it’s
the ending. Of course they never show you what happens afterwards – fights, divorce – the realities of life. But the
endings are those
picture-perfect moments that make all the ache and stuff worth it I think. And that’s what I think I’m hoping for. The movie plot sets the scene that tells you why it’s so special, but if it happens to you, then you know the past and you truly appreciate the fullness of emotion leading up to that moment.
Romantics like me tend to
live moment to moment. It’s those
glorious blips in time that make the
sloppy journey all
worthwhile. A true romantic (which I consider myself to be) is not fazed by the grand gestures of love and affection. We are touched by the deeper meaning behind it. You could hire a
parade of flower floats declaring your undying love for someone but that would pale in comparison to a
hand written note scrawled in crayon from the person sitting next to you that said “I Love You”.Big
WOAH right here. Don’t take this to mean this is what I or any other self proclaimed romantic wants. This is just
emphasising the point about
sincerity being
the most prominent thing when it comes to these things. So if there’s anything that you take away after reading this blog (in addition to the
encapsulating awe that you feel for me as a
magnificent blog writer), let it be this:
be sincere. With
deepest feeling and the
whole of your soul say it and
make it be true. Don’t over do it but don’t under appreciate it.
Because for a certain few and a great many girls,
that’s all that really counts.
And trust me; it will
hold you in good stead in the long run.
Now I have to go and
hide my head because I’ve just let out the
secret to
making a girl fall in love with anyone.
