Female Oppression

No, no, this is not another one of my rants about how women are repressed or so on and so forth...

OK, maybe just a bit.

But it's quite hard to believe, in our fast-paced and developing society that there are still some people who, in their infinite ignorance, still insist that girls are supposed to be this, or this, or this. God, it makes me so mad (not you personally, God. You're cool)

So, I asked the stupid, pig-headed mis-informed individuals: WHY do you think such things? This is what they came up with...

Girls are dainty

And we are all supposed to be wearing pretty pretty frocks and painting portraits and crying for help when we are unable to open the pickle jar lid. Because we are dainty.



Real proper ladies are supposed to be seen not heard. And kept helpless and useless.

OM F@#$%@#$ G. Get a GRIP. Ever heard of the Feminist movement?! Women Empowerment? Evidently NOT! If being "dainty" means being a "lady", FINE. I can be a lady, I can be polite in public, but don't EVER say to me that being a lady is putting up and shutting up. We all have vocal chords for a reason.

Moving on...

Girls are fragile



"Oh, I broke a nail."

Guys usually use this phrase as an example of female vunerability.

OK, fellas, first off: Broken fingernails hurt like a bitch. You try growing your nails for a month or so and let one of your buddies break it off for you. 100 bucks for any guy who doesn't go "MuthaFCUKER!!". And why do girls grow their nails long? Because of stupid society saying it's good! Its makes you a woman! It distinguishes you from the men! Can you say BS, loud enough? Sure, nail polish is advertised as a feminine product, but with the right advertising, men would take to nail polish like a cat to cream. Don't believe me? Guess who's nails are these:



Yeah, those are a guy's nails. No joke. And I painted the nails of 5 different guys in the span of a couple of days. Voluntarily. See? All you cosmetic companies out there, you have a new market! HAH, the day they start advertising nail polish for men is the day I relinquish my title as Neo-Feminist Drama Queen (and I don't give that up easily).

Girls are Delicate

Delicate enough to be enlisted and kick enemy butt. Delicate enough for you? Not me personally, but those brave women all over the world fighting in wars and conflict. If they are so delicate, then how would they survive? And none of that Army training bullshit. ALL girls are capable of kicking ASS and should rightfully do so whenever they feel like it.



Kickboxing, Tae Kwando, Judo, Karate. All self defence and martial arts designed for the protection of the human body against antagonists, e.g. would-be rapists and future castration nominees. I'm sure event he most butt-headed idiot knows how to throw a punch or two.

Alright, given that men are biologically stronger and more adapted to physical combat, women are still capable of holding their own. Plus, we don't have that... sensitive spot you "men" have.

Still think I'm wrong? Watch Kill Bill and then try and argue with me again.


don't F@#K with me

Oh, and the idiots that provoked me into this lenghty rant were my parents. They teach me something new everyday. I did not know I was a goddess till now.

The (Not-So) Simple Life

I do not like The Simple Life ("starring" Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie as the dumb "blonde" skanks they are). For many reasons, other than I have a thoroughly intense disliking for Paris Hilton and believe that an hour of people's daily lives should not be wasted in watching garbage.



Below is irrefutable proof that The Simple Life not only will make you dumber, but will also lower your IQ by 20 points.

*If you didn't catch the repetition in the previous line - further proof that by the mere mention of the show, you are disabled temporarily.

The Title - The Simple Life



An insult to the kind and extremely patient families with who the rich brats stayed with. By labeling their life style as "simple" the producers are also further indicating that rich brats are stupid and useless and can't even handle "simple" farm/household chores.

I wonder whether the family was at any point tempted to beat some sort of sense or decency into the girls. Heck, I know I would. If I were raised in a farm-like environment, sure as hell my pappy would beat me for not talking back or listening to the devil's music. It sure would make the show a hell of a lot more interesting.

"Paris, come here. I told you no short skirts?"
[Paris] "But, I thought, uh...um... Nicole?"
[Nicole] But like, its like -
*Bitchslap 'em both across the face*

There, problem solved. And the World is better off for it. Which brings me to my next point...

Educational TV

Even though most shows won't promote "educational value" on the Tv, if you think about it, most of htem do actually teach you something. Take, for example, The Drew Carey Show. No educational value in that, you say? Take another look. It teaches how a big, overwieght guy can get thru life ok with help from friends, a good sence of comic timing and a really ugly collegue to tease. Plus, it's a comedy which helps you release stress and tention by enabling you to laugh. There! You are better for it already.



The Simple Life however (minus 5 IQ points of mentioning it), teaches nothing but the inverse relationship between millions in the bank and the ability to walk in a straight line. I have yet to glance thru an episode where the lack of sheer common sense caused a disaster/mishap/flashing. If It does teach us anything, its that rich people shouild not be on shows while handling any sort of machinery. And that's valuble information.

The Stupid Life


See the resemblance?!


I've tried it and milking a cow does actually take considerable skill, but pouring milk from one place to another does not. I don't know whether they are pretending to be stupid or it just comes naturally. Which ever it is, the show is completely devoid of any real display of human qualities. For all the blondes out there who have been desperately trying to banish the "dumb blonde" stereotype, congratulations, this show going to forever reciprocate in the minds of future generations to come.

Eugh I'm tired. And if I mention the name of that damned show again I'm gonna faint.

Take heed. I'm only doing this to protect what is left of your MIND.

Things that are overrated

I am sick and tired of people always going "OMG, ________ is so great!" when it is obviously repetitive/lame/stupid/outdated. Here is my tribute to them.

Star Wars (especially Episode 3)



There is no rational explanation for why people would purposely go out of their way to watch this movie. Everyone KNOWS what's going to happen anyway. There is no such thing as a spoiler for this movie.

What Happens:

Anakin becomes Darth Vader

Padme dies

Luke and Leia are born (and are therefore exposed as siblings and twins which therefore spoils the plot of the original movies

The Sith defeat the Jedi (evil over good) as per the TITLE

Not that I dislike all Star Wars movies, because I don't I happen to be a big fan of the original 3. I just find that George Lucas is milking the Star Wars franchise for all its worth. I mean, wasn't the series FINE with the TRILOGY? Now what are we supposed to call it? The Star Wars Sexology? George Lucas should learn to keep his grubby little fingers away from things that shouldn't be tampered with.

The OC



Is it just me or does the OC seem like a teenage version of The Bold and the Beautiful? You've got all the main elements of a soap opera in there: hot/beautiful/aesthetically pleasing actors and actresses, "designer" sets in "exotic" locations, weekly/daily/hourly problems that would cause dire circumstances within the immediate social circle but wouldn't effect the insignificant and uninvolved families around that are not part of the show (yet). Its all very self-centered and egotistical when the producers of the show expect viewers a million miles away to cry and weep for a self-centered brat who expects everything to go their way. And note: all of them are filthy RICH. How unfair is that? The OC is just one death away from swapping actors and using soft lighting to hide the aging performers' wrinkles (because people don't age in real life)

Coldplay



I just don't get it. They claim to be "rockers" but the only thing they rock at is the ability to put me to sleep. I have yet to hear a Coldplay song that makes my toes dance or my heart pump. Even the videos are boring. The one with the disappearing dude was cool and all but nothing extravagantly rocker about them. There should be a new genre of music labeled "Soft soft rock" and all rock/lullaby songs should be labeled as such and rated on their ability to give listeners the most visual dreams while listening. Nothing over 50 decibels - it'll be too loud


Now don't get me wrong, I don't purposely dislike popular culture or anything. In fact I embrace it! I just like giving credit where credit is due and the above 3 suckers don't in the least deserve the credit that the mass of millions give to them.

[I don't think they can be said to be completely OWN3D, but its a start and it's late at night]

Personality Tests

HAH. Here's how some half-bit, crap-ass online personality quiz rated me as:

Boyz and Girlz: Where do you stand? An online Personality Quiz by FC and VB. Type B: THE MALIGNANT NARCISSIST You emerge as a primarily aggressive (sadistic) personality with secondary antisocial, narcissistic, and paranoid features. This personality configuration is consistent with the somewhat disturbed personality syndrome that psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg (1984) called "malignant narcissism." Malignant narcissism has four core components: [Here's where I come in...] - Extreme grandiosity and self-confidence to the extent that one is incapable of empathizing with others' pain and suffering (a narcissistic quality). Half the people you know may tell you this is a quality, period. [And the other half worship me as a self-proclaimed goddess. How righteous...] - A social "conscience" dominated by self-interest. Malignant narcissists have a defective superego, or lack of conscience (an antisocial quality), accompanied by a sense of entitlement and a messianic self-perception; you view yourself as special – a law unto yourself (a narcissistic quality). Half the people you know may tell you, again, this is just good and legit to be. [Hey, if I don't look out for me, noone will. As a female, I do gravitate towards those things cute and cuddly and can you blame me for wanting to protect a few harmless little things... at the off chance of meeting a really cute marine biologist who will take me diving and seduce me a la Adam Sanders in "50 First Dates" (tho he'd be a hell of a lot cuter)] - Unconstrained, self-serving aggression (a sadistic quality). You display narcissistic rage, rooted in grandiosity and sense of entitlement, an all-consuming quest for revenge, for righting perceived wrongs and personal slights. Half the people I know will tell you, and some very blatantly so, that this is just right. [OK, first and upfront, I don't take SHIT from NOONE (all the people I know will tell you that). You piss me off bad enough, I'll personally do away with you and dance on your burned and buried corpse. And don't EVER fucking mess with me on a PMS day. I warned you.] - A paranoid outlook. Underlying your grandiose facade, you bear a siege mentality. You do not understand your own role in creating enemies and use real or imagined enemies as justification for your aggression. Rather than acknowledging your personal shortcomings and inadequacies, you "split off" devalued aspects and project, or attribute them, to an external enemy, which you may then attack. Bleuler properly described these symptoms, in 1908, also replacing the much older classification of "dementia praecox", emphasizing the dissociative phenomena. [Hell. With all that "unconstrained, self-serving aggression", I'm bound to make a few enemies now and then. Those who cannot see the animal-saving, glorious side of me; too bad for you, you anal rententive sadists. If you aren't my friend, you probably did something to piss me off. And if you haven't, you will] Paranoid qualities are to some extent a function of an underlying sadistic character (which by definition is hostile and distrusting), exacerbated by alienation. In other words, underlying personality attributes are reinforced and sustained by negative feedback from the social environment. You behavior reflects deep-seated anger and hostility, permeated by a sense of entitlement and narcissistic rage and portend a propensity for unrestrained discharge of hostile impulses against perceived adversaries which you hold in utmost contempt. Your narcissistic fantasies are remarkable for their extraordinary force. Both half the people you know plus the other significant half the people I know will agree that you are just fine. [OK. To the fucktards who wrote this Crap, that's just plain redundant. "Both half the people you know plus the other significant half the people I know will agree that you are just fine" - Uh, YEAH. Which means ALL the people you know like ME more than your judgmental, sadistic, over-compensating ass. The whole damn thing is based on a fucking 10 question "quiz" which, by the way, didn't even have proper fucking questions. Only some lonely, deranged mental asshole could possibly waste enough time designing that quiz. And that delightful person, would be YOU. Have a nice afterlife moron.]

There is no reasonable explanation to why the world audience is drawn to (ass-kissing) personality tests. The growing number of so-called 'tests' on the internet indicates a larger curiosity towards the human psyche; especially our own. However, due to the extremely unreliable and inaccurate results and imbicility of the questions imposed, it is a pressing question that asks "Why are personality tests so popular?"

(1) Self Esteem
"You are the best person in the world! Go out and celebrate your greatness! You rule!" That's what EVERYONE wants to hear. But hey, not everyone gets to be me, so hence, personality test answers. The majority of the world population who are surfing the net are blatantly ugly. No question. So hey only have their personality to rely and even that is put into question on a daily basis. So what do people do? Log on to some take-this-test-to-let-us-tell-you-how-great-you-are site and let them do the ass-kissing for you! In place of real friends, of course; because people are mean - computers..gooood.... Get a life losers!

(2) Boredom
There are a trillion sites on the internet and you just HAPPEN to surf onto an ass-kissing site. And your excuse? Boredom. Get real, you were looking for self gratification - kiss my ass if you can't kiss your own.

(3) Spouses
Oh yeah. You can see this happening the world over. It's always some over-bearing bimbo who insists that you take this test so that you can PROVE that you are compatible. *HINT HINT* Chances are that (a) she needs self assurance because you are a cheating FAG, or (b) You'll dump her ass because its people like that who spur the growth of personality tests. Report her to the proper authorities and save your self and your computer from sitting thru online group therapy sessions. (This applies to the ladies too. It's always the "macho" ones, watch out)



Personality quizzes are good for a laugh, don't get me wrong. Just don't change your life because its says that your "life colour" is yellow and in a past life your were the Dalai Lama or Jimi Hendrix (tho that would be majorly cool). It's all a pile of crap and I guarantee you that a million other people have gotten the exact same responses as you. You are NOT unique, to the test, you are just a number.

Don't be a statistic. BOYCOTT PERSONALITY TESTS.

Pullin faces

This is how I feel right now. Why? Because I have so much to say and am too tired to say it.

Suck shit.

Ok, well to help with your daily dose of nonsense, here's a list I thought up today.

Things to do in an exam
Number 1: Cough or sneeze every 2 or 3 minutes. Be sure to aim for the exposed neck of the person sitting in front of you.



Number 2: Answer the question, but in the wrong order. That way, if they question you about it, tell them you answered the paper but are chronologically dyslexic.

Number 3: Quietly hum or sing "100 bottles of beer on the wall" under your breath just loud enough so that the surrounding people can hear, but quiet enough to get away with it. Maddening I tell you...

Number 4: Periodically drop pens, erasers, rulers etc on the floor beside you and wait a full minute before picking it up with a gasp of "so THAT'S where it went!"

Number 5: Ask inane questions to the invigilators like "Does the answer go here?" or "Should I use a black pen or a blue pen?". If they get wise to you, start crying about how this exam is important to your overall career aspirations and weep like a bitch. Deep down, all teachers are pussies.

Number 6: Do a cat stretch (where you lift your arms up) and wait a while. (if you go any of the lecturers I got, they'll be around in 30 seconds, offering you extra paper) - decline and say you were stretching. Lower, wait and repeat.
This one is good as an excuse too - "The incompetencey of the lardass lecturers made me fail! I mean, I WAS asking for extra paper, but they didn't give me any! I could SUE!"


Don't be a dumbass. If you're gonna cheat, don't get caught!

Note: I take NO responsibility for your shitty grades, obnoxious lecturers or pissed-off parents. YOU fail, YOUR fault.

So Anyway, walking around Ikano for 3 hours does gove one's mind time to think.

Spread the good word my friends...

Motorised rocking chairs - going nowhere fast

A couple weeks back I had an epiphany. Well not exactly an epiphany, but more like a weird realisation of sorts.

Situation: Shopping around in 1 Utama
What For: no idea
With: Parents

Yeah, so now you know what I was dealing with: extreme boredom, tiredness (cos I had been walking ard for 3 fking hours), freezing legs (I was wearing a skirt pardon moi) and blisters (@#$@#$%# shoes). Well, NOW you know.

SO, in a brief moment of instant aging, my parents popped into the stupid OSIM shoplot on right side of the walkway (I remember this distinctly). Why, you ask? Beats the hell outta me. I asked and all I got was "Shhh we're talking". Right, so the lifetime I've had of "be assertive", "Speak your mind" has all been washed down the proverbial drain with "Shhhh, grown-ups are talking". Well, thats nice...

For those of you who have had the fortune to stay out of those upscale whorehouses, what they sell are physical 'gratification' machines. Stupid "i'm-going-to-rip-you-off-and-make-you-feel-good-about-it" company. (OK fine, massage chairs)


But cmon! Look at the goddamn website!

Well, yeah I mean, they are pretty cool for the first 10 minutes of so when you can bully the attendents (and they are pretty attentive - unlike the assholes in some fancy restaurants) and relax a little. But after about the 11th minute, I realised that "shit, my parents might actually buy something..."

So while the money-grubbing slaves were licking my father's feet in the hope of leeching 5K for a dumb moving chair, I explored the shop, hoping to cause as much chaos as possible (teeheehee).

What I discovered:

This is preferable to a face mask? Yeah, imagine how attractive this would be if you found it lying around... Green gloop a la carte? Anyone?


Called the "Tappie".
OK, minus marks for the most boring and childish name ever. Plus, on the website, it says it's 'portable'. I fear that we are approching an age where the best things are moveable at will. I am afraid that instant electronic massages are in danger of being an everyday occurance. They say that necessity is the mother of invention. What desperate need does this thing actually fulfil?

There was another little gadjet in the shop - some eye massager thing. Tried it on for fun. Apparently, it had different settings: wave, pulse and wave/pulse. The first thing I noticed was that when I put it on, There were little eye holes so i could SEE while i was wearing it (possibly to enable the wearer to observe the rententive looks on the people looking at them). But what is the purpose of being able to see out of that thing? Are you planning of doing housework while wearing that monstrosity? Good grief; if you can afford the electronic face fucker-up, u can sure as hell afford a maid. Get a grip ppl!

Well as this saga concludes, my parents DID actually buy a chair. This one:

Now isn't that a rocking chair waiting to happen?

Five fucking K down the drain.

AND what's fucking more, the chair is designed by the moronic people in the WEST, so what happens is the "shoulder" massage turns into a migraine waiting to happen (get my drift). Not just because I'm short, but the "shoulder area" is aprroximately 3 feet from the ass area. Now measure that against your own body and figure it out yourself.

So what was the epiphany I encountered (refering back to the first para)?

Don't EVER go into a "relaxation" shop with the oldies. It'll only lead to the inevitable - them getting older and you having to work for a living (which i hear sucks shit, btw) and supporting them on your meagre income

Testing out the waters...

Right, here is an example of my html incapacity. Thought this picture was worth putting up on this shrine o' mine just on the sole basis that is is a) time wasting, b) fun and c) something i would SO do. More useful/less content is COMING.

Woah First Post

Well, first post. I suppose I've succumbed to the cyber-pressures of internet space wastage buy filling it with my useless spew. What should I write here? I have a few options. I could: 1) Whine and cry about how my life sucks and how noone ever listens to me and therefore reinforcing that claim because I have resorted to publishing it online for random fuckers who don't care about me, read about it; or 2) occasionally rant about private things but most of the time publish my accurate and clandestine observations on the human race (especially of the segregated species in this godforsaken country (Malaysia)).

Luckily for the rest of you, option 2 has been chosen. U may now applaud.

[Also, the stupid "Compose" tab on the Posting option is fucked so all my typing is in html now. HAH, i am so gonna fuck up my blog one day.]