Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Uni Wifi sucks and I'm too distracted for words.

Here I am, sitting in a Contract lecture. Ubër bored. Kay Mi isn’t so bad. I like the shirt she’s wearing today.

I keep thinking about things with Boy and I think I’ve over-thought things somewhat. Bad habit, I know. Scenario is: I told him to back off for a few days because I have to concentrate on my moot. And now even, when I want to talk to him, he seems really distant. Shit, and I think it’s my fault. How am I going to fix this? I’m done with stress by Thursday but he’s got a quiz on Friday. And I’m going to netball practice on Thursday too and I haven’t told him – haven’t had the chance to.

And I don’t know how to handle disagreements. I’m so stuck.

I want to tell him about Thursday and netball and all but I’m afraid he’ll take it the wrong way and think it’s just cos I want him to send me home – which isn’t the case. I do want to see him. and I do totally appreciate the fact that he’s willing to send me home in the first place.

Should I just go along like it’s not a big deal that I brushed him off for a few days? I think I should but I’m too chicken shit to do it. Where’s my moral support?!

How am I supposed to let him know that I like him? Does he even know? Can I assume that he’s ok with everything? I think so. If I act like it, I think he’d go along. I don’t think there’s anything worth fighting or disagreeing over.

Wow. I really do think I’m a fighter not a lover. War is so much simpler to understand than this love stuff. How confusing.

I have to keep repeating this mantra in my head “Think of the good times. Think of the good times.” Tho, I can’t help but think the other.

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Can’t help but feel really lost right now. I guess it’s a compound of being a little lonely and a little sad. I reckon I’ll be able to crawl my way out of this rut.

Can’t wait till Thursday rolls around and I can run all this excess stress off on the netball pitch. Still wondering how to tell him tho…

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I'm in the process of cutting a wisdom tooth too. Le OUCH. Actually, less ouch, more, gummy feeling. Whee! So this is what it feels like to grow up...

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