I seriously have no thoughts about putting a smile on my face at this particular moment. It feels as if I have lead weights dragging my face down. It’s rather depressing to think about. So I’m trying not to.
Here are the things, in no particular order, which have affected me throughout today.
Here comes Aunt Flo
And with that comes *ouch* period cramps, gastric aches, wind, gassiness, intestinal discomfort and the ever popular cramps. The last one has yet to hit. I have this on-and-off feeling that I need to poop but I think that’s the wind. But then again, you can never be sure.
I may have to call upon the hot water bottle before the night is out.
I’m cranky and I have aches everywhere – joint-wise. I’m all bloated and totally uncomfortable.
Exhaustive-ness
I don’t feel comfortable calling it exhaustion, because I don’t want to detract from the seriousness that the term “exhaustion” connotes. People pass out from exhaustion. I just feel… exhausted. Not lethargic, but slightly achy and generally out of energy.
I guess it could be linked to the periods. Also, every time I move anywhere it’s an effort. Even blinking has become somewhat of a chore. I really do need more sleep. In general.
Tomorrow is going to suck
Tomorrow I am supposed to have class till 1pm, then follow my friends to the Curve for this months Birthday bash in Red Box (Karaoke Style!). Love karaoke, I do.
But change of plans thanks to mortal intervention.
Turns out I have to attend an Editorial Meeting with Vasantha at 3pm. Tomorrow. Which means that I could only possibly get to The Curve by 3.30pm, earliest. As the event at The Curve lasts until 9pm, that shouldn’t be a problem. There’s an issue of whether I want to bother going too but that’s a 50-50 thing. I’ll decide tomorrow. See how I feel.
BUT as it turns out, my parents don’t want me to go to The Curve. I asked and they said no and gave no reason even when asked. I didn’t try very hard to convince them tho. I’ll probably see how I feel about it tomorrow.
But the fact that I’m technically not allowed to go is bumming me out further. I know I’ll probably be able to go but I feel that it would be redundant to ask if it turns out that I don’t want to go.
Should I try and persuade them? Maybe I should.
Money ain’t flowing in like it should
The editorial board is producing a yearbook cum magazine for the Law Society that will document the activities of the Law Society and its students. It’s more fun that it sounds.
It’s going to cost some moneh tho. That’s where sponsorship comes in. the total cost will be in the thousands but that’s no big surprise.
HOWEVER the precious little squirt that’s in charge of sponsorship is moving at the speed of a glacier, so I suspect that by the time any money starts showing up, the project will be scrapped (we have until the end of March, then we start publication).
AND because of stupid department policy, any sponsorship we get goes straight to the consolidated fund, not to our Editorial Board. And because the Law Ball is occurs before our publication, they not only get priority, they will also probably use up all the money first. Not to mention, the Law Ball made a loss last year.
So you can see how totally stoked I am about the meeting tomorrow.
They want us to reduce costs to RM10,000 for 1,000 books. That’s RM10 per book. It’s doable, but it’ll look like shit – not worth doing in my opinion. So basically everything relies on sponsorship – but even contributions to that might not even reach us.
Guys and their spots
No, not zits. It’s like how leopards can’t change their spots.
There’s this guy in my intake (being general here, never know who’s lurking around)… actually, you’ll probably be able to figure out who he is. Whatever, I’ll start from the middle.
He saw this supposed “hot” chick, and she was walking around etcetera. He couldn’t see her face but her bod is rather like the typical skinny Chinese types – thin waist, kinda flat around the boobage and no butt. Rather like the anti-Me. Anyway, face aside; the two fellas thought she was hot – till they saw her face. After that it was game over man.
Anyway, the point is that the first guy – he shall be henceforth known as “the guy”, the other guy is negligible for the rest of this recollection – said “Hey, hot chick.” This is the guy who, not to say I fancy, but the guy who I get along with and am (or was) at the moment trying to figure out if there is a chance or not for anything. After today, I say not. And it bums me out for a couple of reasons.
I say not, because:
1. He likes the “Chinese chick” types. And guys generally have types they like and they tend to stick to them. I guess. I’m not to sure on this point.
2. I do not fall into the category of the “Chinese chick”. It doesn’t bother me that I’m not; it bothers me that guys have types they stick to. It makes the playing field easier to narrow down for them, but makes it oh so irritating for people like me. people like me being people who may fancy other people but know there is one extra hurdle to cross and figure it’s not worth the effort.
And it bums me out because:
1. I know I have no chance. So now I have to find a new hobby, a new something-to-do-with-spare-lunchtime.
2. After watching too many chick flicks, you find yourself yearning for that one guy who will change the way he is or who will learn to appreciate different qualities (namely yours) in a girl. That never happens. Unless you’re different and exceptionally hot. But I have yet to observe case studies on this. So I’m going to take it as set that guys don’t change the types they like – ever.
* * *
All the above has made me cranky and rather apathetic.
At the moment I think my right leg has fallen asleep so I’ve resorted to wiggling my toes in intervals to make sure the leg still works. It’s a really weird sensation when you can feel an appendage fall asleep.
But you know what faithful blog? I feel a little better after jotting all this down. Still tired and sleepy and achy and possibly still cranky, but more light-hearted and a little relieved. At least I don’t have to complain about things to the same people and get the same response – tried that today too, and I know they’re only trying to justify what can’t be changed, but it’s frustrating and the tension builds up.
You are like a demister of emotions, blog. You can run blindly through a fog, or be guided through by a friend. Next to myself, I couldn’t ask for a better listener.
Hey look, a joke! I guess I’m feeling a lot better. Ok, don’t push it.
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